Presidential Candidate: Michele Bachmann

Synopsis:  The TEA party "it" girl since Sarah Palin announced that she would not run for president. Also has replaced Sarah Palin in most liberals' nightmares.

Current Job:  Congresswoman representing Minnesota

Spouse:  Marcus, a Christian Counsellor.

Kids:  5 bio-kids, plus 23 foster kids throughout the years.

Stance on:

• Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act:  Against.  Will repeal if elected.
• Roe V Wade:  Repeal it
• Funding Planned Parenthood:  Against
• Embryonic Stem Cell Research:  Against.  Believes that research can kill women.
• Afghanistan:  We should stay there longer.  It is a mistake to leave so early.
• Iran:  Unclear.  But believes we should fight the war on terror until it is won. Also states on her website that a nuclear-capable Iran is a real threat.
• Budget:  Massive spending cuts, get rid of the Department of Education, Department of Commerce and the EPA.
• Taxes:  reduce number of brackets.  lower business taxes
• Mexico/US border:  Build a fence.  Not just one, but two.
• Education:  Unclear
• Energy:  Allow drilling in ANWR and deepwater oil rigs.  Explore oil shale and open federal lands to logging/mining operations.
• LGBT issues:  Against.  Has a comment on her website about Obama caring about being politically correct even if it is to the detriment of our military (which I'm assuming means she's against the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell) 

Miscellaneous:

• HPV vaccine:  Thinks it causes mental retardation in persons heretofore known to be 'normal'

Chances of Winning:  Let's put it this way, she has a much better chance of being selected as a running mate, and that's falling pretty quickly...   [edited 01/06/12:  After the Iowa Caucus, Ms. Bachmann has since suspended her bid for the presidency]

Who would vote for her:  Social conservatives, Fiscal conservatives, Evangelicals

Clips from the Fake News (since that's all I need):
-Colbert Report:  Bachmann compares herself to John Wayne.  Gacy, that is.
-The Daily Show:  Bachmann clips.
-Fox News: Interview before the Iowa Caucus (though I assume the video will change as the days go on)




Campaign Talking Points (from her website): 

American jobs, right now

• Cut federal government spending
• Cut federal jobs
• Repeal the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (as this is preventing jobs from being created)
• Cut taxes (reduce number of tax brackets and cut taxes of businesses)
• Legalize American energy production and America's natural resources (revive the logging and metal mining industries, and allow mining/drilling/logging on federal lands)
• Repeal job-killing red-tape
• Increase exports, specifically mentioned are to Columbia, Panama and South Korea
• Allow investment in America by allowing the private sector to control the markets with little government involvement
• Foster innovation (no indication of how this is to be done)
• Enforce Immigration laws

Job creation and growth

• Obama has sucked it up thus far
• Obamacare places a burden on companies (by requiring them to provide healthcare to their employees)
• The EPA kills jobs by having carbon regulation mandates
• Bachmann will cut spending, reduce taxes, kill the Internal Revenue Code, repeal Obamacare, and stop Cap-and-trade so companies can function once again.

No debt ceiling increase

• The only way she'll allow an increase in the debt ceiling is if Obamacare is repealed.

A healthier nation

• Repeal Obamacare, stabilize Medicare
• Allow families and doctors to make decisions about insurance, quality of care and course of treatment.

A more secure nation

• Israel is our true friend
• True threat is a nucularly armed Iran
• Current president is more concerned about political correctness than making sure our military is fully funded in both money and personnel.
• Will not rest until the war on terror is won.

Affordable energy

• Allow drilling in ANWR
• Allow deepwater-drilling (the BP oil spill was just a fluke)
• Explore use of Oil Shale for oil