White Rabbit

One of the things my mom told me growing up was that one was to say "white rabbit" upon waking in the morning on the first of the month (some people just say 'rabbit' and others say 'jackrabbit'.  You were to say this so that you would have good luck throughout the month.  Now then, of course the rule is that 'white rabbit' must be the first words uttered in the morning on the first.  My dad used to get around this by just grunting and moaning every morning until my mom would start talking to him since if it was the first of the month, the first words she'd say upon anyone waking up was "Did you say 'white rabbit'?!"

Anyhow.  I still try to say 'white rabbit' on the first of the month; and I did so this morning.

And today was a perfectly fine day.  But then I tripped and fell while running and have roadrash all over my thigh, a few gashes on my hip and hands and my knee is scraped up.  But I didn't break any bones.  See!  the system works!

Making it Hail

A while back, one of my coworkers was lamenting that he'll never be rich enough to "make it rain." 

The other coworker, said, "Yeah, I know how you feel.  I can only afford to do that with quarters... I make it hail."

Thoughts, two

Moms everywhere were excited when Marissa Mayer (the new CEO for Yahoo) got hired with full disclosure of her being pregnant.  That elation turned to vitriol when Marissa announced that she was going to only take 2 (or so) weeks of maternity leave and planned on working from home throughout that time.  My thoughts: 
1.  She can do whatever the hell she wants, if she wants to work, she can work, if she doesn't, she shouldn't have to or feel obligated to. 
2.  If Yahoo is like most companies in America, she probably isn't given maternity leave and instead has to use vacation or sick time or take FMLA leave.  She may not have the vacation time given to her at the beginning of her tenure, but instead is doled out throughout they year (like my job).
3.  FMLA requires that a person has worked for the company for a specified amount of time prior to taking the leave, and it's quite possible that she won't have worked for Yahoo long enough to qualify. 
4.  Basically what I'm saying is that if someone started at my job (which is the government) 2.5 months pre-due date, she wouldn't have the vacation time, she wouldn't have the FMLA qualification; and while I'm sure that if someone was hired at 6.5 months along with full disclosure, she wouldn't be told she couldn't take the time off, but she also wouldn't be getting paid nor would she have the relief knowing that their job would be held open for her.  So yeah, it's quite possible that she feels like she needs to get back to work as soon as possible even if it's only in her head. 
5.  As with most women at that level in the tech field, I'm sure she's got ideas running around in her head all the time and actually goes cabin-fever crazed within a few weeks of being home anyway and if working from home helps her feel less crazy, then so be it.

Point is - the mommy wars are just things made up in women brains and we really need to get away from who's right and who's wrong.  Can't we all just agree that what works for one doesn't necessarily work for everyone?

Stupid People

You ever have one of those times when you're at work and someone accidentally hits "reply all" in an email instead of "reply"? Yeah, those happen every once in a while.

 What happens much more frequently at my work is someone sends an email to a mailing list, someone inevitably on that mailing list replies all when it is unnecessary, and then so on and so forth.

Today, a lady inadvertently sent an email to a mailing list instead of the dummy "I have a question" email address. It happens.

The chain went something like this:
Original Poster: "I need a new password"
Person being a smart ass who has no access to creating a password: "GHJ45qr!"
Person 1: "OMG I don't think I'm supposed to be on this email chain! I don't want to know OP's password!"
Persons 2, 3, 4, and 5: "Yeah, we shouldn't know this"
Person 6: "please remove me from this email chain."
Person 7: "Why is everyone 'replying all'? just hit reply if you feel the need to respond"
Person 8: "PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM THIS EMAIL CHAIN!"
Person 9: "STOP REPLYING ALL!!!!1!!"
Person 10 (who hasn't read through the whole email chain): "OMG! I don't think we're supposed to know what her new password is, are we?"
Persons 11-20: choose any or all of the responses from persons 2, 6 or 9.
Person 21 (OP): "I just figured I'd give you guys your daily dose of computer fun!"
Person 22: same response as person 10.
Person 23: same as person 9.
Person 22 (again): same as person 9.
Person 24: "Don't take me off this list, I LOVE THIS!"
Person 25 (who is new to the game): "What is happening, why are there so many emails about this?"
Person 26 (being a smart ass): "It's a virus"
Persons 27-30: "EEEK! A VIRUS?!?!?!"
Persons 30-35: "I want off this list NOW!"
Person 35 (SysAdmin): "Please disregard this entire chain, the OP accidentally sent an email to the mailing list instead of the dummy email account. Everything is taken care of."
Person 36: "I don't think we're supposed to know what the OP's password is though, are we?"
Person 37: "OMFG! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! STOP HITTING 'REPLY ALL'"
Person 38: "Just to let everyone know, I've let the IT people know about this virus. They're working on it."
Person 39: "I don't want to know what OP's Password is!"
Person 40: "Imma fucking kill you now."
Person 41: "What is going on?"

I'm pretty sure the email chain continued on, but the IT people managed to flag all emails in the system with the same title and didn't send them out. I would have been interested to find out how long it really went on for though...

SO-dium bicarbonate, sodi-UM bicarbonate

Shawn and I are watching this week's CSI and the lab tech just told the CSIs "that white crusty stuff you found was sodium bicarbonate.  Specifically the type that's used in industrial cleaning."

I'm pretty sure that sodium bicarbonate (NaHCO3), being a chemical with a known molecular formula, is the same whether it's used for baking or used for cleaning.

When I pointed this out to Shawn, he told me that I didn't hear the difference - one was SO-dium bicarbonate, while the other is sodi-UM bicarbonate.

Breaky

Down here in Texas, there are a bunch of people who have sports decals on their cars, usually these decals include their child's name and, based on the decal, you can figure out which sport and which school they're at. I've blogged about this before.

A while ago, Shawn saw one that had the cat's name under the little cat stick figure. The cat's name: Burger Foot. (thank god I know what my next cat's name is going to be, though Shawn has asked what happens when Actual Burger Foot meets New Burger Foot. I said he was right, maybe we need to name our cat Taco Paw.)

On Wednesday, driving to work, I pulled up behind a car that had a karate decal with Breaky^2 underneath it.

Shawn calmly asked if I thought there were any other sports that their son, Breaky Squared, partook in.

I could not stop laughing.

Work

Things I have heard in the office within the last week:
"The table of despair"
"In the Cavern [one of our conference rooms] of sadness"
"The elevators of hell"
"The building of misery"

Yep, end of the fiscal year is always fun.

Heard at Work

"Fuck you, you fucking hologram!" (to the security guard)

On my way into work

"Cheer up; you're going to work!"

Snuggles

I went for a jog the other day. And by 'other day' I mean 'over a week ago'. About half way through my jog, I passed three women walking in the opposite direction walking a small Lhasa Apso-esque dog on a retractable leash. As I neared them, the dog comes running toward me tail wagging and tongue lolling out. The dog was about 3 feet from me when the one holding the leash suddenly yells, "Snuggles! NO!" and pulls so hard on the leash the poor animal falls ass over tea kettle and probably made two full rotations. As I jog past, the lady says "I'm so sorry, she's not friendly." and after I pass, I hear her say to the dog, "Snuggles, bad dog! You went all running up to that nice lady pretending like you wanted pets...why would you do that?" And I'm left thinking "you have a dog that isn't friendly at all named Snuggles? That's just lunacy."

Gimpy

Shawn's gimpy (achilles tendonitis and plantar fascitis from running, and he just hurt his ankle today biking).

I'm gimpy (somehow hurt the top of my foot running the other day)

Yep...30 is going to be wonderful for us...

EWG

Today we went to Walmart to get an air filter for our furnace...you know, since it hasn't been changed in a year and a half. while there, we spent a good part of an hour just staring at the sunblock display. The reason why we stood there for 45 minutes was because Shawn insisted that he had read an article about how you should only get sunblock that has active ingredients of "Zinc Oxide" and "Titanium Dioxide."

So yes, we spent 45 minutes looking at the ingredient list for all the sunblocks available. And the only ones that ONLY had Titanium Dioxide and/or Zinc Oxide (other than the stuff the lifeguards put on their noses), are a few of the "free and clear" for babies/sensitive skin varieties.

After getting home and figuring out that he was reading something by EWG.org and not the World Health Organization, we spent the next hour searching for sunblocks that we've heard of (thankfully, they have a searchable database here). We had found the Aveeno Natural Protection Mineral Block (as well as a similarly named Baby formula which, as far as we could tell, is the exact same thing) at both Walmart and Target for $10 per 3 oz bottle (it gets a rating of 3); and had figured that the Neutrogena Pure & Free Baby (also $10 per 3 oz bottle) would have received a similar score. So you can imagine how surprised we were when the Neutrogena got a score of 7 (note: this is like golf, you want lower scores). Apparently the reason for the disparity is that the Neutrogena contains Vitamin A, a vitamin that, while it does reduce the signs of ageing, breaks down in the sun and actually may lead to a higher risk of skin cancer.

Since it is possible to look at all the sunscreens listed on the site by score, that's what I did and just scrolled down until I found a brand I had actually heard of (since I don't make a habit of shopping at the Whole Foods). The best well known brand I could find was the Coppertone Pure & Simple and Sensitive Skin varieties (with a score of 3)

Of course, if you wear makeup you've probably already heard of EWG'sSkin Deep Cosmetics Database.

Naturally I spent the next hour looking up the soaps, shampoos, conditioners and lotions we use. Shawn is trying to get more into the Organic Thing (but not with food...which I think is odd), and so he's purchased some lotions, lip balms, and soaps that are supposed to be better than the traditional stuff. So it's kinda surprising to find out that his lotion (Nature's Gate Fragrance Free) got a 4 while mine (Curel Continuous Comfort Fragrance Free) got a 3. His Nutribiotic Skin Cleanser gets a 6, my Noxzema Triple Clean Cleanser gets a 5.

Happy hunting, kids!

6 Years

6 years ago when I moved down here, I found out that the garage had a little kitty door. I decided that this seemed like a brilliant idea to catch myself a pet cat and so I turned the little lock knobby thing to the point where an animal could come in, but couldn't get out.

Of course, after Ivy found us, I left it that way because she and Quazi would frequently go out into the garage and sit at their little kitty window and look outside trying to figure out a way to get out. (What happens if I push on it? hmm, Nothing. Okay...What happens if I push on it now? hunh. Odd. Nothing happened)

Since it's been 6 years and we've never had a problem with animals coming into the garage, I completely forgot about it. Until the other night when we had a feral cat in the garage. Well, we can't blame the cats - they tried to warn us (they both REALLY wanted out in the garage even though it was fuh-reezing outside). It also should have tipped us off as we came home and the garage smelled like cat piss, but I figured that the smell was because I had been cleaning out the litter boxes and throwing the waste in the garbage and we hadn't thrown away any other trash. So instead we sat in the house until the poor animal knocked over a rolled up rug Shawn had next to the garbage can. When we saw the cat, Shawn just opened the garage door and the cat left (though I feel like we should have put food and water out for it first because who knows how long it was stuck in the garage).

But man, can those feral cats jump. It was jumping about 6' straight up in the air trying to get away from us (and it was already in the opposite corner of the garage).

yellow bubby

Cast Ironman

Shawn made dinner tonight. Entirely in the cast iron skillet.

Here I present to you breakfast potatoes with bacon and fried eggs:

Fall

from my mom when she was down here in October:
"So the leaves haven't started turning yet. What color will they turn when fall finally hits down here?"

from my coworker:
"Do you consider brown a color?"

November

You know what today is, don't you? It is November 2. 2 days into National Blog Post Month (NaBloPoMo). In other words, it is the month in which I regale you with crappy-ass stories in order to prove to myself that I can, indeed, post something on one of my blogs at least once a day for 30 consecutive days.

And you want to know something else? I've already screwed it up. I forgot yesterday was November 1. But, in the grand scheme of things, this is peanuts compared to the other atrocity that happened yesterday. The atrocity of which I speak is naturally the travesty in which I forgot to have the first two words out of my mouth on the 1st of the month be "White Rabbit."

Obviously this is Shawn's fault because he bothered to ask me a question right after getting out of bed. The question, of course, was whether Daylight Saving time ended on the 31st or not. I think he was looking forward to sleeping in for another hour. In any case, I'll take my semi lucid answer of "no, it ends next weekend, at 1am" over the phrase I kept uttering last night every time there was a clap of thunder that woke me up in the middle of the night...Though I would guess it'd be easier to remember to say "Holy Crap!!!" (and yes, apparently when I'm tired I cuss like a Mormon instead of a Sailor) the first of every month, rather than that silly "White Rabbit" phrase.

Skillz

Two nights ago, I decided to make jambalaya. the zattarain's variety. (by the way, that scream you just heard is Kristie all the way in colorado.)

Anyhow, in this jambalaya mix, I decided to use our deer sausage (the link variety) that I got from a coworker.

Opening the vacuum sealed package requires using a knife.

A knife I sliced toward myself.

A knife that slipped and I ended up nicking myself on the hip.

Put a nice little hole in my shirt.

So I sewed that up right after eating dinner.

Yes, I have mad knife skillz.

I'm sorry, did I say 'mad'? I meant 'bad'.

Cricket

No matter what type of day I've had, nothing warms the cockles of my heart more than seeing the kids playing cricket at the park on my way home from work.

Pocky

Have you seen these delicious little cracker-sticks covered in chocolate? If you do ever see them, I fully recommend buying a pack and then eating them before you even get to your car.

Shawn has his first run in with the Pocky the other day. He was talking to it. Coaxing the broken halves in the bottom of the wrapper to come out because if they didn't, they were going to melt. He finally ascertained that they were indeed melted to the packaging and he stated "don't worry little Pocky! I'll save you!" before ripping the packaging to shreds and licking all the melted chocolate off of the inside of the baggie.

Seriously, almost as addicting as crack.