Pedophiles

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but for whatever reason, it set me off again.

Why does it seem like I'm the only person down here (being Texas) that thinks those stupid window stickers parents put on their cars here are stupid? These window stickers usually contain the child's name, the sport they partake in, their jersey number, and the school where they play this sport. Plus if you follow the vehicle in question to their house, you now have the address of the potential victim.

I mean really, it surprises me there aren't more reports of kids being kidnapped.

Poker

Shawn and I have been watching Top Shot on Hulu recently. Top Shot is one of those reality competition shows, and in essence the premise is that team A is supposed to beat team B in a head to head competition that somehow is using some form of weapon generally used to kill people, and requires some skill to do so. And it's not like they just use your every day Glock, they switch it up between odd-ball weapons (throwing knives) and old-timey (1873 Winchester rifles). Oh sure they'll have some newer guns in there (like an AK-47 or sniper rifle).

The episode we watched last night (which is like episode 8 or something) involved an elimination challenge of using a Peacemaker (the gun Wyatt Earp used) to shoot at playing cards (face up) on a large board 25-yards away. The goal was to get the best poker hand possible if you were playing 7 card stud. Both players were able to get a royal flush easily. The second round was the same concept only with 5 card stud, and the cards that had already been used could not be used again.

Player A shoots for and scores a 2 of spades (slight confusion because why go for the straight flush when you can still go for the royal flush?)
Player B shoots for and misses an Ace
Player A shoots for and scores the 6 of spades
Player B decides to play defensively and gets the 5 of spades
Player A shoots the 4 of spades
Player B is going for the "4 of a kind" and gets the 5 of hearts
Player A totally spazes out and decides he wants, aims for, and shoots the 4 of hearts (WTF?!)
Player B shoots the 5 of clubs
Game over


Seriously, I want to play poker against that guy.

August 15

To my dear and wonderful husband on our 5th wedding anniversary,

Thank you for not laughing too hard when I sliced my knee open on your license plate. Again. And thank you for putting up with my hysterics in regards to slicing open my knee on your license plate. Again. This time though, is just the equivalent of a paper cut. So, that's good. That means I won't be threatening to pass out and making you go to the store specifically to buy me butterfly bandages. But really, I could use some ice cream. That would definitely help. And I'll try not to do this again. But maybe it's a sign that I should stop doing laundry. You don't mind, right?

Yours,
Katina

But really, thanks for the last 5 years, they were wonderful. What do you say we give it another 5?

678: iPhone vs. Droid vs. Blackberry

I was forwarded this article from today: iPhone users have the Most Sex.

For those of you who don't care to read it, I shall summarize:

According to a survey by OK Cupid, iPhone users had the most sex partners, followed by Blackberry and then Android users coming in third.

I don't know what to make of this...but they're saying 1 of 2 things: girls with iPhones are easy or girls with iPhones are hot.

discuss amongst yourselves.

Pocky

Have you seen these delicious little cracker-sticks covered in chocolate? If you do ever see them, I fully recommend buying a pack and then eating them before you even get to your car.

Shawn has his first run in with the Pocky the other day. He was talking to it. Coaxing the broken halves in the bottom of the wrapper to come out because if they didn't, they were going to melt. He finally ascertained that they were indeed melted to the packaging and he stated "don't worry little Pocky! I'll save you!" before ripping the packaging to shreds and licking all the melted chocolate off of the inside of the baggie.

Seriously, almost as addicting as crack.

irksome

it really irks me when I'm watching Last Comic Standing and one of the comics does a bit that has been done by others far greater and far better.

The show we watched tonight had 2 such instances. One where Natasha (looking much like a little girl who decided to play dress up in Betty White's closet) did a joke that had already been told earlier this year and aired on TV. It was a bit about how reality TV competitions are out of control and the final two will decide who was the top six that will decide which 5 are going home or some such.

the second instance was where Greg decided to recite the last verse of Lazyboy's "Underwear goes inside the pants" song. Practically verbatim. Which, fine, I get that he was the one that did the speaking part on the song, and that the song was released 6 years ago, but still. It's been done.

The only bright spot thus far (we have 20 minutes left to go) was Tom Papa who is the host on the Marriage Ref ("men are like sick bears from Chernobyl...")

Hammer and Coop

We were talking about this at dinner last night:



Now then, if only I could remember what I was supposed to watch...

Adventurous New Recipes

Earlier this week I took a day off, and Shawn had said that, as Sprouts was having a really good deal on Mahi Mahi, that I should buy some. He promised he would cook it since I have a rule that I do not eat fish, and therefore I will not cook fish. Shawn has told me that the problem isn't the fish, the problem is the type of fish I've always had (fish sticks and trout). I promised that, if he did indeed cook fish, that I would at least try it.

And I actually liked it! I don't think I liked it nearly as much as the CATS liked it, though -- I've never had to fight Quazi away from my dinner plate so forcefully before. Shawn of course kept claiming that he ruined it because he glazed the glaze for too long and so it was more of a gelatinous goo rather than glaze. But otherwise I thought it was perfectly fine. And as I said, the cats thought it was more than perfectly fine.

And I guess this is a plus as Ivy has the habit of not drinking enough water, and I found that I can trick her into drinking water if I put some fish in it.

Adventures in Home Ec

Bond has an overabundance of cayenne peppers from her garden so she brought them all in to work for everyone to share. At the end of the day, there were still like 17 peppers left so I decided I'd go ahead and take them, surely I'd find some use for them.

A few days later, Bond mentioned that she had been using the peppers to make some hot sauce and it was neon orange. And thus I had an idea of what to do with the peppers. Make hot sauce. I figured that since Shawn is so into spicy foods that he'd at least appreciate it.

I make the recipe as Bond had given it to me-- Cut off the tops of cayenne peppers, add them to boiling vinegar, wait a bit, add salt and sugar, add to blender...Wait, we don't have a blender...Well Crap. So I decide to let it cool off in the pot for a while before adding it to my plastic food processor. Shawn says that I should just use the stick blender we have.

After attempting this, we learned some very important lessons: The reason why you need this in a blender, or in something with a lid is because A) it will splatter, and B) it's heated through spicy peppers, you idiot.

Yeah, we effectively sprayed ourselves with pepper spray.

As we're standing there in the kitchen coughing, sneezing and eyes watering, Shawn suggests that maybe I ought to just let it cool down and then I can put it in the plastic food processor, which has a lid. Yes, well, duh.

Catholic Weddings

I was talking to my coworker about his upcoming nuptials via text message. A bit of back story: This coworker used to love Mel Gibson. Loved him right up to the Jewish rant a few months back.

"Are you going to have a recitation of the Apostle's Creed or the Nicene Creed at your wedding?"

"No, we're going to do a medley of my favorite lines from Mel Gibson movies. The priest will ask if I take sugartits to be my wife."

"And then he'll ask her if she takes Masterblaster to be her husband..."