Saturday, March 24, 2007

Do you have a Nathan?

So, this last weekend, when we were in colorado for the wedding, we went out to dinner with my inl aws. The whole slew of them (so my Mother and Father in law as well as the sister in law and her husband). Now then, this dinner wasn't awkward, at least I didn't think it as such. However, I got the distinct feeling from the 'rents that the dinner was "strained" or something like that. The reason I didn't think this dinner seemed odd? because this is how dinner always is when Shawn eats with my parents.

Usually the dinner goes something like this:

Mom straining to come up with some question to ask the son in law where he actually carries on some banter as opposed to giving a one syllable answer. Usually, the son in law gets a look on his face where he's not sure if Mom is asking him a question that she wants an answer for, or if it's more of a rhetorical thing. Mom feeling that he's making fun of her, or intentionally not answering because he doesn't like her (this is what the moms perceive--Shawn does like my parents, he thinks they're a little crazy sometimes, but he likes them. I get the feeling that this is probably the case with Nathan as well--you gotta keep in mind that these guys have not lived with their in laws as long as their respective wives have.). Dad doesn't talk much, or ask any questions (actually, my dad will tell stories during dinner if so persuaded, but I don't think I've ever heard more than a "please pass the peas" from Bob). The daughters will talk to the Moms, but that's about it. And occasionally they do the horrible, horrible thing of answering for their husbands (aka son in law) (usually at the point when they think said husbands are going to make asses of themselves). And the sister in law barely says anything. This of course means that most of the dinner conversation ends up coming from the Mothers, and it's usually pretty one-sided. Which they may or may not resent. In anycase, my point is that Shawn is the Nathan in our family.

So, it may be weird, or it may be odd, but at least it's the same between the two families. Which, in and of, itself is odd--that two such different families could be so similar. I almost want to put Nathan and my Mom together and see what happens, maybe it's just that Nathan's more like my family, and she and Nathan would get along swimmingly. I don't know, but it is an interesting thought.


Dani said...
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Dani said...

how true you are.... Mom has been trying all week to figure out why Shawn just doesn't talk to us and thinks maybe it's because he hates us. I keep telling her "look it's Shawn" that's what Shawn does if he wants to talk he'll talk-- if anything you're probably making it weird for him by asking twenty questions games...she doesn't agree with me :( I try and I try-- but nothing changes.

Mephisto said...

MAYBE, Nathan was just tired from driving 190 miles after he worked 75 hours that week, to go to that dinner, and MAYBE, Nathan is just a tad stressed out about managing the consulting on a 480 million dollar wind energy project (the largest in the nation to date) and sometimes Nathan has NO patience to agrue about what to do with some 40 year old dresser, normally Nathan is a very nice person, just a bit short tempered

katina said...

yeah, i keep telling elsie and bob that they got to cut him some slack--he's been working beauceau overtime, AND he drives 2.5-3 hours every week to see his wife for ONE day. Now then, if I was in the same situation, you better believe that I wouldn't want to waste my ONE day spending it with extended family. Hell, I can tell you that when my dad worked in Cheyenne and he only had to drive 2 hours to come see us, he wouldn't always do it (and he had the whole weekend off). There's a reason why we moved to cheyenne for a year. And so, Nathan, I commend you because there is no way I would have been able to handle it nearly as well as you did. (and because I know typing doesn't convey feelings very well, and there's a possiblity that it could be conveyed as sarcastic, I'm here to tell you that I really do mean it--seriously, I probably would have stabbed a fork in my eye.)

Mephisto said...

don't stab a fork in your eye, that might hurt