On talking with my mom

A couple weekends ago, I was talking on the phone with my mom, as I am wont to do. She asked me if I had any news, so I told her of the hermit crabs (something she has been trying to convince me to do since I was 21...apparently she thinks hermit crabs do something instead of spending all their time sitting in the same spot in their tank). I also told her that I had joined the fantasy football league at work.

Now then, if you know me, you also know that I don't know jack about sports. And your normal response would be "Well, go ask Shawn, he'll tell you all about it." But you'd be wrong because he doesn't pay attention to normal sports (not that fantasy football is even a normal sport).

So, fantasy football. It will be interesting. All I've gathered from it is that there's a list of 500 players and I have to try to make up a team out of that list of players while going all round robin style with the other people in the league.

So I was trying to explain this to my mom (who also doesn't know anything about sports). And as examples, I was using players that I actually know of. So what if they were all retired?

"So yeah, I think you go through and select players by position, or if you want, you can select the entire defensive line. So if I wanted John Elway, I could get him, as long as no one else got him first. Or like if I needed a wide receiver I could get Ed McCaffrey. But of course there's this whole thing about you actually have two teams because I guess you can't have the same team every week or something, so you'd get like Joe Montana as your secondary quarterback."

"umm, honey? I don't think you're going to do so well if you keep choosing players that are all retired."

So yeah, this game promises to be fun when the only players I know are the ones that are in the news...and most of them are in the news, not because they do well at football, but because they do stupid stuff.