Saturday, September 29, 2007

Reality TV

At work the other day, Pam and I were talking about what idiots the people are that go on Survivor. If not for any other reason than they actually believe the production crew when they say "The game starts tomorrow. Please be aware that we will be taking a group photo later today, so wear whatever you want, but remember, we want you to look nice." That is just idiocy. Do you not instinctively know that the production team is there to screw with you and they are to be trusted as much as a politician?

As such, this is the list of stuff you should wear on the plane, on the boat, to all meetings with anyone that has anything to do with Survivor:
-Cargo pants/shorts. If you cannot decide, get the type that zip off at the knee.
-A T-shirt. You may opt for the 'fast wicking' type, but what's the point as this will be the only shirt you wear for the next 39 days.
-If you are a girl, a good sports bra.
-Underwear. Always wear underwear. Actually, if you're comfortable with wearing two layers of underwear, do so. You will be glad in the end.
-Wool socks...at the very least, socks...If you wish to forgo socks, always wear some form of "sport sandal". Crocs do not count.
-Good athletic shoes...of course, you may not want to go out and buy a brand new pair of shoes, as after this, you will never wear them again...but still, athletic shoes of some sort are a must. (This also seems to be the one item they will give you after the game has started, so you do not always have to have these on your person).
-A wool sweater...you can tie it around your shoulders or waist if need be. If you do not want to take a wool sweater, then do the same thing with some sort of lightweight jacket.

Also, for the love of God, learn how to start a fire without using aids. At the very least, learn how to start a fire using flint.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

that's the thing I don't get about these shows... I don't know how to swim... I don't know how to make fire... I have issues eatting bugs, rats, fish etc.... why the hell would you want to try this show?
D

Jon said...

I've always wished someone would just go all "Lord of The Flies" on Survivor...run off into the bush and start a guerilla war on the production crew...something along those lines.

Ross said...

I think Jon is onto something there, I bet the ratings would be spectacular. Maybe an Apocalypse Now style ending with Jeff Probst?

Jon said...

Are you...an assassin?